Wendy's Films of 2010 # 111 - #134: A Rush to Finish 2010's Reviews!

What with the store closing and all, I decided to take a slightly unconventional turn in an attempt to finish reviewing every new film (new to me, that is) I watched this year. I knew I wouldn't make it writing longer reviews since I have over 60 movies left on the list, but thought that this might at least be fun to read even if it wasn't very descriptive.

#111. True Blood: Season 2 (2009)

My guilty pleasure. Sexy, southern and full of bloodlust; it's like eating a dark, rich dangerously delicious chocolate cake that I just can't get enough of.

#112. Snake in the Eagle's Shadow (1978)

Jackie Chan a school janitor? You bet, but as expected he's soon to become a kick-ass martial artist! Good, but not the best Chan movie I've seen.

#113. Batman: The Movie (1966)

"Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb." Cheesy, corny, wonderful 1960s fun: "It looks bad, batman. This brassy bird has us buffaloed."

#114. Lifeforce (1985)

A crazy sci-fi, vampire, zombie movie that's bound to blow your mind with it's absurdity, badness and greatness.

#115. Princess Mononoke (1997)

Probably my favourite Hayao Miyazaki film so far. The music, the animation, the colours, and especially the story: everything just blew me away.

#116. Subway (1985)

A neat film directed by Luc Besson and starring a french-speaking Christopher Lambert who roams the subways of Paris while blackmailing the woman he's infatuated with. It's very 80s and kind of strange, but awesome.

#117. Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009)

Really? You need a review? Nah.

#118. Delicatessen (1991)

Colourful, classic Jean-Pierre Jeunet full of funny, sweet, dark and strange moments that are sure to please (if you're like me, that is.)

#119. Super Mario Bros. (1993)

I have no idea how they came up with the ideas they used in this film, but it's pretty fucking crazy and I kinda liked it.

#120. The Ladykillers (2004)

I really enjoyed this one, though that trend is pretty common with

me and the Coens. I'm still not totally sold on Tom Hanks, but hey, he's not so bad.

#121. Twilight: Eclipse (2010)

Unfortunately, it was better than the first.

#122. The Awful Truth (1937)

I love my Cary Grant romances and this is another classic. Perhaps not as wonderful as some of his others, but it seems he really can't go wrong.

#123. Project A-2 (1987)

"But I'm not cooking! So it stays open!" Apparently I thought this Jackie Chan line was so terribly funny that it deserved to be quoted, but I can't for the life of me remember why. I can't even remember what the movie's about. I think he plays a straight cop in a crooked area of town or something...

#124. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)

Crazy disgusting slimy ear bugs. Also, it's quite awesome.

#125. The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus (2009)

Colourful, nonsensical, neat to watch and Heath Ledger's last film.

#126. Objectified (2009)

Ooo, this documentary was way more boring than I thought it would be. I fell asleep.

#127. Porco Rosso (1992)

Wonderfully detailed, beautifully animated Miyazaki film about a mysterious swine-resembling pilot that takes a begrudging liking to a young girl and the antics that ensue.

#128. An American in Paris (1951)

Charming in a 1950s musical kind of way. Not my favourite old musical, but it'll do.

#129. The Beaches of Agnès (2008)

A lovely film by Agnes Varda about the life she lead, the man she loved and the beautiful films she made.

#130. Freaks and Geeks (1999-2000)

Probably my favourite series of the year (either that or Skins). It's a great, funny, interesting show about high school in the early 80s and I just can't get its lead, Linda Cardellini, out of my head. (Also starring James Franco, Seth Rogan, Jason Segal and directed by Judd Apatow. I know, right?)

#131. The Jerk (1979)

A charming idiot (Steve Martin) somehow ends up alright after leaving his family

#132. Against All Flags (1952)

Errol Flynn. Pirates.

#133. Super Fly (1972)

Pretty good blaxploitation film about a man who wants out of the cocaine dealing business: "Can you dig it?"

#134. Undeclared (2001-2002)

Sort of a continuation of Freaks and Geeks, directed by Apatow, but starring a completely different cast and taking place a few decades later. Also, not quite as good.

Ryan Watches A Motion Picture #91: Six-String Samurai (1998)

Post-apocalyptic wasteland U.S.A, taken over by the Russians! Vegas is one of the only cities left standing, and if you want to make it anywhere, it'll have to be there. But it's tough to get in. Tougher to survive the walk. Our stoic hero is a rockabilly guitar-picker who's decided to make for his fame and fortune.

Packing little beyond his guitar, a torn umbrella to shield himself from the hot desert sun, and a fucking samurai sword to defend himself against Russian raiders, he sets out across the arid land. Oh, and Death is literally after him. Death and a bunch of his evil henchmen. This is a winning concept, but the ultimate result is a little on the underwhelming side. I found myself bored more than once, which usually means that I need a gang to watch the movie with, and some sake.

If you can set up that kind of situation, also be prepared for wretched acting, camp dialogue, breakout gypsy-punk sequences, and sword duels that sometimes manage to be pretty stylish.

So: Could have been the best movie ever, but doesn't too far along that track.

Wendy's Films of 2010 #95 and #96: Shogun Assassin (1980) and Ninja Assassin (2009)

For some reason the picturesque Côte d'Azur reminds me of Asian assassins.

I'm not really sure why, but today I found myself pondering the qualities of films about martial arts and assassins and wondering how much these two actually had in common. At first I was quick to think they were very different, but it seems that all good martial arts heros are out to get revenge. Now this revenge is not to be wasted on just anyone, but it's a special kind of hate reserved specifically for their former management/commanders/employers. This hate is often based on the senseless and tragic murder of a beloved female. For the Shogun it was his wife, for Raizo it was his potential future lady friend. This revenge is exacting, ruthless and satisfying. Usually with a lot of bloody mayhem. It is always entertaining.

This entertainment is especially pronounced when I've spent the day wandering around beautiful medieval towns like Eze and looking out onto the stunning blue Mediterranean water. On these days I most enjoy pondering the excellent qualities of carnage and slaughter. Shogun Assassin's style is particularly humorous as it takes the first two films in the Lone Wolf and Cub (the first of which I previously reviewed here) series and cuts it down to one film, highlighting fight scenes, angry man faces, and boobs. I would give this film several thumbs up if I had more than two. Not only is it a gratifying and farcical, but it pretty much emanates the best aspects of words like "awesome" and "suberb." Ninja Assassin also contains a lot of excellent entertainment, particularly on the slaughter side. It's done beautifully, with plenty of blood and lots of neat weapons. I'd say it's not as good as Shogun Assassin (which I definitely recommend) but it's a film I thought was pretty fantastical and worth your while if you like to be entertained with death and martial arts. Perhaps the quality of these two films is what drew me toward them while admiring the beauty of Southern France, I'm not sure, but Monaco is supposed to be pretty nice.

p.s. I just reread my Lone Wolf review and noticed that on the 29th of May I wrote "It's the first in a 6-part series, 7 if you include Shogun Assassin (which I'll hopefully write a review for soon.)" I would like to note that "soon" apparently means "almost 4 months." I apologize for potentially misleading hopeful readers and will try to be more productive in the future.

Wendy's Films of 2010 #91: Tang shan da xiong (Fists of Fury) (1971)

So this isn't actually the Bruce Lee film that most people know as "Fists of Fury" (a film made the next year, about a different subject, but by the same director). The confusion arises when the dubbed version of Tang shan da xiong released in America is called Fists of Fury, and the next year a similar film is given the same English title, even though the original titles of these films weren't anywhere close to this one (Big Brother of Tongshan/Jing wu men). Tang shan winds up with several different titles in the English language including Fists of Glory and The Big Boss (the now official title). This is merely a bit of trivia that I found entertaining, but I thought it made an interesting point about the creation of English language titles. Even when the first Harry Potter film was released I didn't understand why the American release of the book was titled "Sorcerer's Stone" while the original was "Philosopher's Stone". Feel free to comment on translated titles that flabbergast or interest you in some way. And after all that, you can actually find Tang shan da xiong under MarArts: Lee as Fists of Fury. 

As for the film itself, the plot was interesting enough: a man who has sworn not to use his martial arts training for the purpose of violence begins to notice the disappearance of his cousins at the ice factory where he works. Of course, as you can probably imagine, violence ensues and Bruce Lee gets to kick some ass. The random female nudity seems out of place, but I suppose it's not really meant to be anything other than a tactic to get larger audiences. There is a copious amount of violence, from hatchets in the back, flashlights to the head, and several difference ice-related deaths, in addition to the awesome Bruce Lee hand-to-hand combat. Overall, the film isn't really anything momentous, but it served its purpose as a diverting and sometimes comical, martial arts movie.

Wendy's Films of 2010 #87 and #88: Ong Bak 2 (2008) and Saved! (2004)

A while back Maggie and I embarked on an evening of film. We started off with the sequel to Ong-Bak, a film which brought the impressive martial arts skills of Tony Jaa to the world's attention. I remember writing in my review that I'd "have to see" if I'd see Ong Bak 2, and I can't really say that I'm that glad I did see it. It really has no relation to the first film, with the exception of Tony Jaa playing a character named Tien who develops skill in Muay Thai martial arts and uses it to fight off the film's villains. It jumps back into 1431, when Tien's noble parents are killed by Lord Rajasena, who once served under Tien's father. When Tien is older, he is presented with the opportunity to revenge the death of his parents and does it with style. My problem is that even though there were a few good fight sequences, they weren't nearly as impressive entertaining as those in the first film. I could have forgiven the unrelated plot if Jaa's ass-kicking skills had at least been kick ass. I'm 85% sure I won't be seeing the 3rd film, even though **PLOT SPOILER** the second ends with a huge cliff hanger.**

I must say I enjoyed the second film of the evening more than the first. I wasn't expecting Saved! to be as good as it was, but I quite enjoyed it. Entertaining was Macaulay Culkin's return to mainstream film after years of nothing but a couple of TV roles and a few minuscule films. Really, he hadn't been in anything since Richie Rich, a movie I hold quite dear as a favourite from my childhood, though I'm certain it's actually terrible. In any case, Saved! is about a high school student who gets pregnant after attempting to "save" her boyfriend from his affection for other men. She is ostricized from her best friends (including Mandy Moore's awesome Jesus extremist Hilary Faye), and must allow herself to be saved by her Christian school's Jewish outcast and badass Cassandra and Faye's wheelchair bound brother Roland (Culkin), who both see themselves and atheists. I liked most that the film wasn't necessarily preaching against believing in something, but against extremist ideology and the suppression of choice.

Wendy's Films of 2010 #85 and #86: The Streetfighter (1974) and The Streetfighter's Last Revenge (1974)

I had sort of mixed feelings about these films, particularly the first (The Streetfighter), mostly because I was torn between loving the action and violence and not liking Sonny Chiba's character (Terry Tsurugi) whatsoever. Am I wrong to dislike someone who ends up killing the brother of a man he rescues because of payment issues? And what about the completely unnecessary selling of their sister into prostitution? Then he decides to protect another woman from being killed for the rest of the film! It's one thing to have a dark character, but geeze, you'd think his sense of morality wouldn't be so schizophrenic.

I did quite enjoy the fighting though. Sonny Chiba's defeats are always thoroughly entertaining, I particularly enjoy the punch that knocks out nearly all of one man's teeth. The deplorable acting and dubbing makes it even better. I usually hate dubbing, but sometimes it improves a movie far, far beyond its original potential.

Chiba isn't quite as morally contemptible in the forth film: The Street Fighter's Last Revenge. In it, he's hired to retreive the second of two tapes which together reveal the secret to making cheap heroin. Sure, that might sound a little morally reprehensible, but at least he's not forcing anyone into the slave trade. He also adopts disguises and goes badass on the guys who hired him when they double-cross him. So, not exactly something I'd recommend to someone looking for a seriously good martial arts film, but rather something with a bit more senseless violence and poorly dubbed humour. I even read somewhere that the original isn't even about heroin. Now that's classy dubbing.

You can find both films in the Streetfighter Collection if you dare...

Wendy's Films of 2010 #83: This Is Kung Fu (1987)

When I say this film is sort of boring, I say it in the best way possible. In fact, I would even consider watching it again. This is Kung Fu is boring only if you take it at face value; if you enjoy martial arts films and have a sense of humour, however, you might just find this to be exactly what you're looking for. One plot summary I found is perfect: "Documentary featuring scenes of hand-to-hand and combat with weapons." This is what the entire film consists of. In it, people "play at" various kinds of Kung Fu and the narrator describes what they do. There are also some pretty crazy stunts (though I hesitate to call them such), especially those performed by the children of a Kung Fu practising family about 3/4 of the way through the film. Several parts feature a young Jet Li, and the film will certainly clear up any confusion over the styles and weapons used. I only wish I had written down some of the phrases used by the narrator, as they made me laugh way harder than any comedy has of late.

Wendy's Films of 2010 #61: Ong-Bak (2003)

I nearly rented Smokin' Aces, but luckily Mike told me not to. He instead suggested Ong-Bak.

So the story goes like this: a young man (Tony Jaa) is sent to retrieve the head of his poor village's temple buddah, Ong-Bak, which has been stolen by a man working for a Thai gangster in Bangkok. Once there he is forced to recant his vow never to use his Muay Thai training to harm another person, as he continually seems to encounter people who want to fight him. Jaa is absolutely incredible. The stunts he pulls are awe-inspiring, though at times it feels as if the film is simply a backdrop for his Muay Thai skills. The only other criticism I have is the frequent use of the "let's repeat the same awesome shot of him doing something kick ass 3 times from different angles" technique, which is cool for the first couple times, but eventually gets tiresome. Yet, watching Jaa jump over cars, through barbed-wire hoops and generally being excellent makes up for the tri-peat shots. Overall it was highly amusing, and I'm somewhat interested in checking out the sequel, though we'll have to see about that one.

Wendy's Films of 2010 #60: Ip Man (2008)

I've been on a big martial arts/samurai kick lately, and it all started with Ip Man. Best part of this movie is that it can stand alone, it doesn't need the martial arts to have a story, but it takes the movie from good to "holy shit, yeah!" The film is a semi-autobiographical look at Ip Man (pronounced Eep Mun), the man who first taught the Chinese martial art of Wing Chun.
Can I just say how wicked it is to watch a man with a feather-covered stick defeat one carrying a sword? Heck yes. Throughout the film, Ip Man quietly goes about his life, secretly being the best martial artist in Foshan. His skills are discovered and come into use numerous times, especially after the Japanese invade China and his community is stricken with death and poverty. Because of this setting, the film is strong dramatically and each battle takes on the emotion of a man fighting to maintain his beliefs and the pride he has for his country. The fight scenes are quality, not in a "cheesy awesome" way, but in a "that was kick ass" way. As Ip Man, Donnie Yen gives a strong performance, he's likable, powerful and and his skills believable. Definitely check this one out.

Ryan Watches a Motion Picture #9: Under Siege (1992)

The greatest of the Seagal movies, and one of my favourite ridiculous early 90s action films. If you're looking for something to get excited about with friends and laugh as Seagal's clunkily powerful body breaks limbs and deflects knife blows, look no further.

Seagal plays this ship's cook called Ryback that is also a disillusioned Navy Seal. When another disillusioned military-type and his forces take over the ship he's cooking on, he must hurt them all in a great many ways. And he does. The final battle finishes off with Tommy Lee Jones getting a thumb through his right eye, getting a kitchen knife plunged into the top of his head, and getting his upper body rammed into a computer monitor and electrocuted. All in the span of about 5 seconds. It's like a Mortal Kombat finisher.

It's just starting to show its age, what with its Gulf-war talk, Bush Sr. appearance, and melodramatic soundtrack. Aged action movies are the best action movies. It also has ex-Baywatch playboy playmate Erika Eleniak getting a bit naked.

So: A wine pairing suggestion - cheap and red. Like the lifeblood of Seagal's enemies.

tm Does the QT 20 Part 7: Police Story 3 (Supercop)

Police Story 3 (aka Super Cop, aka Ging chat goo si 3: Chiu kup ging chat; dir. Stanley Tong – 1992)

Watching a Jackie Chan movie for the plot or character development or hoping for hubris of unparalleled gravitas is like reading Playboy for the articles.

This movie finds Jackie as a Hong Kong cop going undercover in China (why him? He’s apparently a Super Cop!) to help catch a criminal who can hopefully lead them to an international drug lord. The reluctant partner is a Chinese cop, played by the always great Michelle Yeoh (here credited as Michelle Khan). Both of them kick butt and body left, right, and centre using their fists, guns, or whatever common household items can be grabbed in haste.

Jackie had already churned out an untold number of Hong Kong action flicks before being found by North American audiences (let’s not count his bits in Cannonball Run I and II, okay?), mostly with the Rush Hour movies. Flooding the market with the older movies made it easy to quickly satisfy this hunger. Because of this, you’ve got good movie rubbing shoulder with the bad; while this is probably one of Jackie’s better movies, I’ll take Operation Condor instead.

The dvd has no bonus features. But there are the classic Chan “stunts gone wrong” outtakes over the closing credits, so who needs the ‘making of’ documentary?
tm sez: 6/10