Wendy's Films of 2010 #93: Iron Man 2 (2010)

"Come see Iron Man 2!" they said.

"It'll be the best thing evar!!!1!" they said.

Well, sadly, they lied. It wasn't the best thing evar. In fact, it wasn't really very good at all and I must say I was quite disappointed in the outcome of one of 2010's most anticipated films.

It had redeeming qualities in Robert Downey Jr. (Tony Stark/Iron Man, for those who's minds remain outside the realm of pop culture.) Downey Jr. always manages to give an entertaining performance, whether his films succeed or not. I even liked Gwyneth Paltrow in this film, which is saying something as she usually annoys me to the point of turning a potentially good movie bad. Scarlett Johansson nearly had the opportunity to do something cool, but they unfortunately tried to do too much with the film. They shoved far too many subplots and unnecessary bits in that it became a jumble of unconcentrated potential. I think that's what annoyed me the most: the fact that the film had potential and threw it out while attempting to gain more of an audience by adding more stars and thus a lot of superfluous storylines and scenes. Or perhaps they were afraid the film wouldn't be able to stand up on its own without the help of these famous faces. My favourite part, however, was when Paltrow and the film's director Jon Favreau sat in danger for their lives inside a car next to a deadly flight between Iron Man and Ivan Vanko. They just sat there, staring! Just another example of Favreau adding in unnecessary film time and an unnecessary character: himself.

The film will be out on DVD on September 28th, so if you'd like to check it out for yourself you shall have this ability in the near future.

Ryan Watches A Motion Picture #45: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)

I realise that this is probably nonsense to many a movie-goer, but Robert Downey jr. consistently annoys the living tapeworms out of me. I just can't digest his line deliveries very well, and neither can the tapeworms. The flippant and breakneck banter I've come to link to Downey pretty much ruined the Iron Man flicks for me, as in those movies - more pronouncedly in the second - the banter reaches a level something like 'extreme biohazard'. This review is starting off with a real tilt towards the biological, and I'm not entirely sure why. Hm. Oh well.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is infectious. The dialogue comes very close to annoying Downey syndrome, but manages to reel back just enough to strike me mostly as charming. It's written by Shane Black, who apparently wrote the first Lethal Weapon movie. And Last Action Hero. Yep. (Holy shit - that's the creeping familiarity that's been lurking in my unconscious since watching this movie. That's why Downey bothers me. I think he reminds me of Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon, and I've never been keen on the Lethal Weapon series. Downey gets characters with the same flippant attitude, the same borderline madness. Here I'd like to apologise to Mr. Downey Jr. for comparing him to Mel Gib-racist-sexist-son.) The drama unfolds in an archetypal but satisfying way, and features a man who isn't what he thought he'd be when he grew up and a woman in the same boat. She's also 'the one that got away' and he hasn't quite given up. All the clever banter that moves between them gets interrupted now and again by ugly moments made all the more ugly for being couched in what is seemingly a comedy.

Anywho, I must talk about Tarantino factor now because Kiss Kiss has a definite post-Tarantino vibe to it. That might be good or bad depending on your feelings toward the big T, but the echoes of his post-modern style are of course here to stay in cinema, and he's oft emulated and never matched. Kiss Kiss manages to do better than most on that front, which is surprising given that it goes further where Tarantino tends to wisely stop: while T-man's movies are culturally referential and draw attention to cinema as being deliberate representations or constructions, his movies never quite become aware of themselves. With the exception, I think, of Kill Bill, they don't stop and say "Hey, I'm a movie." Kiss Kiss is aware of itself. Downey works as a cheeky narrator who openly acknowledges that you're watching a film. Characters namedrop their favourite movies from time to time, letting you know that it was written by someone who considers themselves pretty fairly steeped in movie-culture. While this can easily become trite, it manages here to add something wistful and idealistic. Something that speaks about our desires and where we place them.

Lastly, I always get a kick out of Val Kilmer, and his role as Gay Perry, a tough and unrelentingly acerbic counterpart to Downey is a treat to watch. I kind of want a movie about Gay Perry.

So: A meta, stylish, and funny bit of wish-fulfillment. Val Kilmer rules.

Ryan Watches a Motion Picture #28: Iron Man 2 (2010)

Robert Downey Jr. returns as Tony Stark, roguish playboy billionaire turned superguy (I'll say superguy since he never quite reaches hero status in the films - he just owns up to negligence and cleans up his own messes). He's Iron Man of course, and this was the big summer action sequel many people were waiting for.

And it's really fucking boring. Not since Transformers 2 have I sat in a theatre to watch a blockbuster and suddenly realised that I was completely, utterly bored. That I didn't care about anything that was happening on the screen, and that when there was a glitzy CGI sequence, couldn't anchor it to any kind of sense of emotional import. But I don't want to lead you too astray by bringing up one of the worst movies I've ever seen - Iron Man 2 isn't anywhere near as vapid as Transformers 2 because there's only one dick joke in it, if I remember rightly.

Sadly I can only think of one or two action sequences that are somewhat satisfying, and one is close to the beginning and the other not quite at the end, and short. Everything else is annoying quip. A glib talk back and forth that goes nowhere and isn't funny, instead of, say, illuminating the audience as to what's going with either plot or character. In regards to character, there isn't much present. We get a Tony Stark who's a dick and a fantasy of wealth without redeeming quality that I can find, and a Paltrow/Pepperpot that gets mad sometimes about how careless Stark is. Oh, and Don Cheadle getting mad about that too, to the point where he dons a suit of robo-armour for a really ridiculous fight scene at a party. Apart from that there's a lot of time spent trying to sell you on secondary characters. Scarlett Johansson and Sammy J were somewhat fun to watch, but Mickey Rourke's grizzled Russian antagonist was really the only thing I actually found entertaining. Or justifiable.

At least after the credits we see Thor's hammer in an impact crater unrelated to anything we saw in Iron Man 2.

So: A movie as careless and self-serving as Tony Stark. Save your money.

Wendy's Films of 2010 #20: Sherlock Holmes (2009)

Maybe it's because I'm a sucker for Robert Downey Jr. (and Jude Law), or that I have a history of enjoying most of Guy Ritchie's films, or perhaps it's because so many people told me that it really wasn't that good. But I must say that I really loved watching Sherlock Holmes. The music is awesome, I particularly enjoyed The Rocky Road to Dublin by The Dubliners, and Zimmer's great score; as he himself said, "We rented 20th Century Fox’s underground car park one Sunday and did hideous things to a piano." I liked Rachel McAdam's character and her witty reparte with Holmes, not to mention her ass-kicking skills and ability to defuse potentially lethal, er... situations (I don't want to give away too much).

It's pretty much what you'd expect from a Ritchie film: entertaining characters, a lighthearted plot blown up to seem grim and serious for the sake of convincing theatrics, and lots and lots of fighting, guns and explosions! It's great for a diverting friday night at the movies. Oh, and let's just say Robert Downey Jr. can speak French to me any day.