Mike the Boss - Films of 2010 - Film the Nineteenth: Monster X Attacks the G8 Summit

Monster X Attacks the G8 Summit (2008) (dir: Minoru Kawasaki)

Where do I start with Monster X Attacks the G8 Summit? I mean, I am a huge fan of the Kaiju Eiga (Big Monster) genre of films. When I was growing up, we didn’t have cable television but my friends did and once every couple of months they would get Godzilla Week on the Fox channel subsidiary equivalent back then. This meant that after school they would show a different Godzilla movie every day for a week. I would try to convince my parents to let me stay over for supper during that week so I could watch the movies. This rarely worked, so my childhood memories are shot through with the first 30 minutes of many Godzilla films.

Later in life I had the opportunity to see the Godzilla films in full and still loved them. I’m even a bigger fan of Gamera, the giant, flying space turtle. In fact, I once skipped an exam at university because City TV was showing all of the old Gamera films, in chronological order, back-to-back (yes, I was a bad student). I’ve enjoyed the Daimajin series, Rodan, King Kong in its many different iterations, Gorgo, Gappa and even the original Monster X. I have a strong tolerance for the silly side of the Kaiju Eiga genre even though I prefer the pseudo-serious side it sometimes takes.

So, let us get back to Monster X Attacks the G8 Summit. This is a film that takes a 60’s giant monster (Guilala) and places him in a spoof of the old monster movies. Guilala is still treated with respect (as much as a giant space chicken can be respected) but the film gives us a cast of utterly idiotic humans who occupy far too much of the screen time. These humans represent the different leaders of the G-8 and each one is lampooned with the national stereotype that is appropriate. They each choose different techniques to try and stop the rampage of Monster X but each one fails. The failures are usually a result of the leader of the moment being a buffoon.

I suppose you could look at the film as an interesting portrayal of Japanese nationalist xenophobia or as a self-mocking parody of the Japanese love for Kaiju Eiga films of the past but I’m not sure either decision would be completely justified. My final decision was that I really didn’t like the film and that I was pretty disappointed in it. Even Takeshi Kitano doing the voice of the world-saving Take Monster didn’t really save it for me. It is a shame they didn’t try a little harder to make the film work. They could have made some astute political commentary given the cast of characters but instead they just went through the paces. I can only hope that hints of a new and proper U.S. Godzilla production will satisfy my Kaiju Eiga hunger. Maybe I’ll just have to watch Cloverfield again.

Mike the Boss - Films of 2010 - Film the Eighteenth: Masters of Horror: Chocolate

Warning: If this man is in the movie you are watching, it is likely crap!

Chocolate (2005)(dir: Mick Garris)

The Masters of Horrors creator/producer tries his hand at making a scary episode and fails in spectacular fashion. One of the worst entries in the series. Mitigated only by copious amounts of nudity and sex and decent bit of gore. The story is crap, the acting is crap, the directing is crap and the end result is crap.

Here is a hint on how to tell you are watching a crappy movie/TV episode. If Matt Frewer is in it, it is crap. This will hold true in 95% of the things that he is in. I enjoyed him as Max Headroom in a decade long past but if I am honest with myself, he was crap in that too.

I’m not going to bother with a plot summary since I’m not going to recommend anyone watch this film. It is bad,. You will be disappointed. Just avoid it.

Mike the Boss - Films of 2010 - Film the Seventeenth: Kill Buljo

Kill Buljo (2007) (dir: Tommy Wirkola)

I REALLY enjoyed Wirkola’s last film, Dead Snow, which was a nazi-zombie, comedy-horror splatterfest. So why not check out his previous film, the Norwegian low-comedy Tarantino tribute film, Kill Buljo? Apparently Tarantino liked the film and surely it couldn’t be that bad could it?

Oh silly me. It is that bad. Maybe if I was Norwegian I might have enjoyed the film because perhaps there is a hidden meaning to everything I watched but I’m not so I didn’t. I’m pretty sure it was racist too.

Anyway, hick from the country has his entire wedding party slaughtered by a mean gangster and he takes revenge in “hilarious” fashion. Boobs, snowmobiles, idiocy, they are all here. You won’t care though. Just avoid it.

Mike The Boss - Films of 2010 - Film the Sixteenth: Masters of Horror: Cigarette Burns / Dreams in the Witch House

Cigarette Burns (2005)(dir: John Carpenter) / Dreams in the Witch House (2005)(dir: Stuart Gordon)

These films are on the same disc and are both part of the Masters of Horror series.

Cigarette Burns is a fun little John Carpenter (Escape from New York, They Live) romp. It kind of acts like a complementary piece to Polanski’s much superior Ninth Gate. It deals with Kirby (Norman Reedus) being hired by Bellinger (Udo Kier) to find the only surviving copy of the most terrifying film ever to be created. Apparently, if you view this film, you will go insane and kill people and/or yourself.

The movie has some nice effects and creates a definite sense of unease throughout. However, it suffers from the fact that it needs to show you elements of this film to convince you how terrifying that it is. The problem is that the film they present to us is really just kind of wanky instead of terrifying. Carpenter would have been better off to keep it all off screen. I still think this film works because of the general creepiness that is invoked and some strong performance by Kier and Reedus. The final result is that this entry is one of the strongest in the entire Master of Horror series.

Dreams of the Witch House is a Stuart Gordon (Re-Animator, From Beyond) entry in Masters of Horror series. Gordon has a rep built on his entertaining film adaptations, from the 80’s, of H.P. Lovecraft stories. Witch House is another short story adaptation and it suffers from the more recent malaise that Gordon has fallen into. Gordon is still resting on the acclaim he received 25 years ago and has not adapted or evolved his craft over the years. I know he has his fans but I am not one of them.

The Witch House in the movie is a rooming house filled with misfits and has a room in the attic where the geometry of the walls serves as a gateway into a realm of evil. What could have been a scary premise is instead treated as a pseudo-comedy which disarms any horror aspects of the story. By the time the witch appears (and the appearance is laughably bad), you no longer care what happens to the Bruce Campbellesque protagonist. It is too bad that this stinker is attached to the same disc as Cigarette Burns.

Mike the Boss - Films of 2010 - Film the Fifteenth: Zombie Self Defense Force

Ack! I am way, way behind on my writing of reviews. Went to Portugal in February for a vacation and never got back on track. I'll try to catch up over the next few days.

Zombie Self Defense Force (2006) (dir: Naoyuki Tomomatsu)

Another in the Switchblade Pictures releases of low budget Japanese horror comedies, Zombie Self Defense Force features tons of gore, none of the usual sleaze but the expected paper thin plot is there with plenty of really bad jokes. The movie starts with a strange bit about how evil America was for nuking Japan during WW2. Then we have a UFO crashing that then causes zombies to rise up and attack everyone. Luckily, the Self Defense force is in the forest so they can protect the other oddballs that survive the initial attack and help to defeat the zombie invasion.

Frankly, the plot is pretty pointless and the acting is typically bad but they do have a LOT of gore and blood being sprayed about in this film so if that is what you want then go ahead and give it a watch. I prefer a slightly less slapstick version of zombie film but that is just me. The film is only 76 minutes long so even if you don’t like it, it won’t bore you.

Mike The Boss - Films of 2010 - Film the Fourteenth: Masters of Horror: Right To Die

Right To Die (2006) (dir: Rob Schmidt)

Moving right along with the Masters of Horror series, I watched Rob Schimdt's Right to Die. If you've never heard of Schmidt, it is because he has one real film to his name, Wrong Turn, and that film isn't really all that great. I guess they needed someone to fill the director's chair and he was all that was left. Right to Die features the overacting of Martin Donovan, as the husband of a woman who has had all of her skin removed due to a horrible car accident and fire they were in. Whenever she dies, she appears as a fleshless apparition and does terrible thing to people around him.

The story is not that great in this one either although I do enjoy the play on words in the title. Donovan is seeking to have his wife taken off of life support but in reality, it would only be correct for her to die given the nature of her wounds. Tthe weak story and bad acting is mollified by copious gore effects and plenty of nudity and sex. So while the plot may not be great, you will still be kept entertained if those things are what you are into. I did like the ending as well but it still felt like it took a little too long to get there. Anyway, not a complete dud but nothing special here.

Mike the Boss - Films of 2010 - Film the Thirteenth: Masters of Horror: Sounds Like...

Masters of Horror: Sounds Like... (2006) (dir: Brad Anderson)

Another in the Masters of Horror collection, this one is directed by Brad Anderson who did the delightfully scary Session 9 and cringe-inducing The Machinist. It deals with the manager of a call centre whose hearing becomes hyper-sensitive to the point where it is driving him crazy. This episode has an decent back story but I'm not sure it really does the job of a horror film. Sure there is the psychological aspect of his condition and what it causes him to do but I just didn't feel the tension that might have been there if they hadn't kept the story so simple. I think this is more of a failing of the concept of the Masters of Horror series than anything else. The constraint required to keep things within the 50 minute limit means that the director cannot always go where he needs to. Anyway, Sounds Like... is not great but it is still a decent diversion for an hour if you need one.

Mike The Boss - Films of 2010 - Film the Twelfth: Masters of Horror: The Screwfly Solution

Masters of Horror: The Screwfly Solution (2006) (dir: Joe Dante)

Since we are supposed to be watching a movie a day I have naturally gravitated towards the shorter movies since I can fit 1 or 2 in much more easily that way. I had not watched any of the Masters of Horror collection expect for the one by Takashi Miike which is acknowledged to be one of the best and was actually banned from US television.

The Masters of Horror collection was the brain child of Mick Garris and ran on the Starz cable channel in the USA. The concept was to get directors, who have made great horror films in the past, to do 50 minute TV movies a la Twilight Zone. Since it was to be on a cable channel, nudity and gore could feature prominently. The idea sounds like a good one but the constraints on the series (length, money, actors) resulted in an underwhelming collection of movies. However, if you are able to twist things around in your head to realize that these aren't really movies, they are episodic television shows, then they begin to shine a little brighter. None of them are great but there are quite a few that are fun. And since most of the DVDs only feature 1 episode on it, they are only half price to rent and definitely worth your time at that price.

I started with The Screwfly Solution, directed by Joe Dante, mostly because I know Dante has a good sense of humour and has been underused in Hollywood these days. I'm glad I did because Joe does a fine job of taking decent short story and working in some fine killing and a bit of sex to boot. It is based on a 1977 short story by Raccoona Sheldon who is also Alice Sheldon who wrote under the name of James Tiptree Jr. since sci-fi readers seem to have an aversion to female authors. If you don't know the story of the Screwfly, it is an annoying pest in South America that lays its eggs in human hosts which then begin to eat the living flesh while they grow. They were controlled by breeding sterile males and then releasing them in the wild to compete with the fertile males thus reducing the population.

Sheldon took this concept and applied a variation to humanity so that men become increasingly violent towards women as a result of this plague. Dante uses the obvious male violence theme to great effect having even the most well-meaning individuals hurt the ones they love the most. It is a well put together story with a bit of cheesy special effects for the grand finale but still an above average television production. Dante still has what it takes to shock us but knows full well that a bit of humour is always appreciated with our horror.

Mike The Boss - Films of 2010 - Film the Eleventh: The Young Victoria

(Why was I thinking of naughty chess jokes during this scene?)

The Young Victoria (2009) (Dir: Jean-Marc Vallee)

Another queen movie for me! This one follows the chaotic first years of Victoria's rule and her romance with Prince Albert. If you are looking for gorgeous set pieces, fabulous costumes and high drama and political intrigue, this movie is for you.

Emily Blunt gets the nod as Queen Victoria and does an excellent job of portraying a willful 18 year girl who ascends to the most powerful seat in Britain. Rupert Friend plays Prince Albert and does a great job showing the respectful intelligence of the man. Paul Bettany is Lord Melbourne, Albert's competition for Victoria's hand in marriage. Miranda Richardson looks a little out of place as the Duchess of Kent (Victoria's mother) as does Jim Broadbent as dying King William but they can be overlooked.

The movie starts with typical teen drama. Victoria mom and her mom's boyfriend want Victoria to do as she is told but Victoria knows that they are not the boss of her and says, "No way Mom!" Okay, that isn't how it really goes. In reality, the Duchess of Kent and Sir John Conroy (played by Mark Strong) want Victoria to sign papers that declare them to be her Regents until she turns 25 (she is not quite 18 yet). The king is dying and they consider Victoria too young to take the throne. Victoria, strong willed teen that she is, declines their generous offer and sets about getting ready to rule the kingdom.

The coronation sequence is pretty damned sweet with lots of pomp and circumstance, everyone in their finery and the sets dolled up to the max. Blunt plays it well showing a touch of nervousness but keeping her facade of regalness for the public. This two-sidedness of her nature is continued throughout the film including during the romance with Albert, her dealings with Lord Melbourne and the parliament and with the general goings-on within the palace. She always seem to have a bit of that young teen petulance mitigated by her years of training to be the Queen of England.

The romance with Albert takes a long time to come to a head but the wait is worth the while. Poor Albert is constantly frustrated because he can't come out and say how he feels directly because his lady love is the Queen of England. Meanwhile, Victoria is having trouble making up her mind because, well, she IS the Queen of England and pretty much everything she does has double and triple meaning regardless of whether she wants to do so. The nice touch is that a lot of the long distance romancing is taken directly from the actual Queen Victoria's collection of letters. So we get to hear what the real queen thought when the real romance was happening.

Anyway, there are no real surprises here other than Albert getting shot (he did not in reality). Eventually, Victoria realizes Albert is a good match, they have an absolutely fabulous wedding and they live happily ever after having 9 kids until Albert dies and Victoria goes into mourning for the rest of her life. For a different look at Victoria's latter years, check out the marvelous Mrs. Brown, starring Judi Dench as an older Victoria and Billy Connolly as John Brown, her supposed lover. It makes a good companion piece to Young Victoria and is a damn fine film too.

As an aside, the film was written by Julian Fellowes, who also wrote Gosford Park and the film was directed by Quebecois film-maker JeanMarc Vallee, who directed C.R.A.Z.Y. . Both of those films are worth checking out as well.

Mike the Boss - Films of 2010 - Film the Tenth: Enid

Don't worry. I haven't given up on the quest of 365 movies in 365 days. I just happen to have caught a cold and then passed it on to my partner so I haven't had time to write my movies up. I'll try to catch up over the next week or so.

Enid (2009) (dir: James Hawes)

This movie was made for British Television which means it is good enough for the big screens over here. It stars Helena Bonham Carter doing her usual journeyman's work in the role of Enid Blyton, beloved British writer of children's books. If you don't like Bonham Carter's acting style, you'll hate this movie since it is all Helena all the time. I think she does a pretty good job most of the time and this kind of role is well suited to her talents.

You would think making a biopic about Blyton would emphasize the playful side of her writing but the Brits apparently thought otherwise. Instead we find out that Enid had a miserable childhood and left home shortly after her father abandoned her family. She managed to talk publisher Hugh Pollock into publishing her first book and promptly married him. Given that she came from a broken home, one would have hoped that Blyton could have chosen a different path than she did. However, old ghosts seem to haunt her resulting in her being an indifferent mother, an adulterous wife and really an all-around bitch.

Given that this movie is a thorough assassination of any good thoughts one might have had towards Enid Blyton, it is a wonder that they do not bring up the inherent sexism and racism involved in her writing. Some of it is implied in the movie but if your going to rake a dead person over the coals, why not go all the way? Other than that, the movie is a perfectly satisfactory BBC production and worth checking out unless you wish to keep your deluded image of what Enid Blyton was really like.

Mike The Boss - Films of 2010 - Film the Ninth: Not Quite Hollywood

Not Quite Hollywood (2008) (dir: Mark Hartley)

A quick and fun documentary about Australian exploitation films from the 70s and 80s. Lots of fun clips of nudity, cheap gore effects, ridiculous stunts that probably never should have been done (and would not be allowed today) and lots of talking heads describing what it was like to be making films back then. Quentin Tarantino pushed for this project to get funding and he is one of those talking heads describing how he felt when he discovered Ozploitation and his admiration for the art form.

This is an enjoyable bit of film history but I can't help thinking that it would have been nice if Canada had experienced the same kind of renaissance of trash as Australia did as the same time. It seems to me that we took ourselves too seriously and as a result we have a rather tepid art house film industry and not much else in Canada. Australia is still putting out far superior product both of the art house and exploitation variety. So while getting educated on Ozploitation, I still felt a little morose that such a thing did not happen here.

Gen X has a decent collection of the films featured in this documentary so if you are interested in seeing some of the movies, let us know which ones and we'll point you in the right direction.

Mike the Boss - Films of 2010 - Film the Eighth: Moon

Moon (2009) (dir: Duncan Jones)

There was a lot of buzz last year about the sci-fi movie Moon. It had indie acting cred with Sam Rockwell in the lead role. It had retro minimalist set designs out of the 60s and 70s. It had a first time feature director by the name of Duncan Jones (who just happens to be Zowie Bowie, son of David Bowie). However, all of this means nothing if the film is a piece of crap.

Most Hollywood science fiction films are flashy actioners with lots of special effects, minimal character development and a plot that compares well with Swiss cheese. This is a sad thing because the best science fiction novels are more a study of humanity than ridiculous flashbang pew-pew spaceship fights. So it was nice to see Moon take the quiet approach to a science fiction story, tell it well and do it with little fanfare but with great emotional panache.

Moon takes place, wait for it... on the Moon. Rockwell plays Sam Bell, in charge of a moon mining operation that is controlled by robots on the dark side of the moon. He is the only human on site, communication with Earth is sporadic due to a satellite malfunction and his contract is three years long. When we first meet him, he is days away from finishing his tour and getting ready to head back to Earth to his loving wife and young daughter. Then things start to go wrong and a mystery is unearthed that changes everything.

I won't go any further as I hate it when movies are spoiled for me. Needless to say though, things are not what they appear and by the end you will be thinking a lot about what it means to be human. This is a slow moving, peaceful film that does not overstay its welcome at a relatively brief 97 minutes long. If I had watched this last year, it likely would have made my top 10 and it certainly will be in the running for my 2010 list of favourites. Definitely recommended but don't forget to bring your brain because this in not mindless entertainment.

Mike the Boss - Films of 2010 - Film the Seventh: Elizabeth: The Golden Age

Elizabeth: The Golden Age (2007) (dir: Shekar Kapur)

I was surprised when the Indian film director, Shekhar Kapur, got the go ahead to make a sequel to the very good 1998 film Elizabeth. The sequel got savaged fairly brutally by the critics so I did not bother to watch it when it first came out. However, having just watched Cate Blanchett act her ass off in Notes on a Scandal, I decided I'd take the plunge on Elizabeth: The Golden Age and see for myself.

The first film dealt with the beginning of Elizabeth's reign and so we had a lot of political intrigue and romance as she rose to power. While the second movie does have elements of the first, it focuses more on creating Elizabeth into a historical action hero. In fact, young Isabella, princess of Spain, actually has a doll of Elizabeth which I'm sure is meant to be demeaning towards England's queen but ends up seeming more like an modern day action figure as the movie progresses. The political intrigue revolves around Spain and Mary, Queen of Scots. The romance revolves around Elizabeth and Sir Walter Raliegh (played by Clive Owen). Those two plot lines spin into the action climax of the British Navy versus the Spanish Armada.

As with any good costume drama, Blanchett gets to wear increasingly outlandish and beautiful outfits with an ever changing hair style all due her massive collection of wigs. The sets are absolutely gorgeous, the CGI for the actions scenes are well done and the acting performances are pretty good. With all of that, I'm a little confused as to why the critics went cold on this film. I suspect that they were expecting a bit more of the understatement and quietness that the first movie had but Khapur is from India and he brings a fun Bollywood sensibility to this second film.

I will admit I am a sucker for the big Queens of England. I have immense admiration for Elizabeth I and Victoria (and Elizabeth II as well). Sure they were able to rule by their birthright but think about it, they were women, ruling men, in a time when women really didn't have many options. You think it is tough now being a women in a position of power? Try being in charge of one of the most powerful countries in the world 450 years ago! Elizabeth was a badass, no doubt about it. If she wasn't, she wouldn't have lasted. While I doubt she looked as good as Blanchett did in her suit of armor (and Blanchett does indeed look damn fine), I'm sure she'd kick the ass of any modern day man without even breaking a sweat. Elizabeth: The Golden Age is good movie that is easy on the eyes, a little superficial in the plot but well acted and worth a watch. I can only hope we get a third act 10 years from now.

Mike the Boss - Films of 2010 - Film the Sixth: Notes on a Scandal

(Dame Judi gets ready to kick some albino ass in Notes on a Scandal)

Notes on a Scandal (2006) (dir: Richard Eyre)

One of my pet peeves in cinema is over narration. It tends to be used by incompetent story tellers to advise the audience of what is happening in the film rather than usual character dialogue and visual imagery. It is a cop out and an insult to the viewer. Having said that, I do believe narration can serve a purpose if it has context within the film and that is the case in Notes on a Scandal which uses the pretext of Judi Dench reading from her diary to advance the story throughout the film. It works, but I still wish that it had been used a little less as much of the narrating is not needed.

This film was filled with Oscar nominated acting performances as Cate Blanchett and Dame Judi tear up the screen with a great bit of histrionics. The basic plot is this: Blanchett plays an art teacher who has 2 kids at home (one with Down's Syndrome), is married to an older man (Bill Nighy, who is also excellent) and feels unfilled for no real good reason at all. So she decides to bang a 15 year old student at her school. Dench, who is a crazy cat lady living on her own and is the school's resident battleaxe, finds out and uses this knowledge to worm her way into Blanchett's life. As we come to realize that both characters are completely self-delusional the chaos, mayhem and melodrama gets cranked up to a fever pitch.

The acting is top notch and Blanchett looks gorgeous in the film. The story and character motivations left me a little dry and I did have problems with the giggles during what surely were supposed to be the most dramatic of the scenes but that may be my failing. Folks looking for their usual Britflick fix will do well with this film as they likely have a greater tolerance for this kind of thing.

Mike The Boss - Films of 2010 - Film the Fifth: Zombie Hunter Rika

(just when you think the movie can't get any more ridiculous, guess who shows up?)

Zombie Hunter Rika (2008) (dir: K. Fujiwara)

Part live action anime, part slapstick Japanese comedy, part low budget zombie film, Zombie Hunter Rika is another in the Switchblade film releases for North America. Basic story is Rika and her friend play hooky and go visit her grandfather whereupon they are attacked by zombies. Much hilarity ensues as the grandfather's maids have a "who has the bigger boobs" contest just before they are devoured, the grandfather (who is a vegetative state due to being poisoned by his gold digging wife) goes old school samurai and then attaches the severed arm of a US Elite Zombie Hunter to his granddaughter (her arm gets severed after being bitten by a zombie) and some Three Stooges like hijinks from a trio of computer nerds who are trying to stop the zombie invasion with a tire iron and kitchen knife.

If you think it sounds like the movie is dumb, you are correct but it knows that it is a low budget exploitation film and does the best it can within it's limitations. You get some nudity, lots of gore, ridiculous situations and a plot that makes a kind of retarded, incredibly convoluted sense. But really, leave your brain behind if you are going to watch Rika.

P.S. Watch for the obviously male stunt double for Rika who does most of the martial arts moves in the movie. I love it when movies do that!

Mike The Boss - Films of 2010 - Film the Fourth: Sauna

(Erik prepares to do battle with an evil sauna!)

Sauna (2008) (dir: Annila Antti-Jussi)

Hmmm. I has watched plenty of Eurohorror in my time and I am used to them not explaining much of what is going on but I have a feeling I may have really been missing something in this tale from the late 1500s. A war between Russia and Finland-Sweden is over and the border is being marked out by a team of Russians and Finns. They stumble across a village in the centre of a swamp. Everyone is old and there is only one kid there. Secrets abound, the least of which is a creepy old sauna in the swamp outside the village. Here is a hint: if you stumble across a bunch of creepy people, in the middle of a creepy swamp and they happen to have a rundown old building that they use as a sauna, DON'T GO INTO IT. Again, I suspect there is something sort of folkloric thing going on that I did not get so I didn't really understand the film all that much but it is atmospheric, has some good frights and a pretty disturbing ending (if what I thought happened really did happen) so don't let my confusion dissuade you from watching the movie.

Mike the Boss - Films of 2010 - Film the Third: Crank 2: High Voltage

Crank 2: High Voltage (2009) (dir: M. Neveldine, B. Taylor)

Master of the Dude movie, madkevin, told me I really needed to see this film even though I hated, hated, hated the first one. I ignored him until I saw that it had made Slate's, Ten great movies of 2009 you haven't seen list. The list has a reasonable pedigree to it so I decided to take the plunge (not knowing that Miss Wendy would also be watching it this week). I have to say that this film is dumber that the first Crank, but that is not necessarily a bad thing.

Jason Statham is back as Chev Chelios. Having survived his fall from the sky in the first movie, he has now had his heart stolen and replaced with a mechanical one that needs to be electrically charged on a regular basis. Strangely enough, not only can you charge this heart with pretty much any kind of electricity (stun guns, high voltage wires, friction from sex) but size of the charge also makes Chev stronger and faster. Like I said, dumber concept than the first.

However, the movie embraces this stupidity and Chev runs around looking for his heart doing increasingly more ridiculous things in order to keep his heart charged up. Any pretext of seriousness or reality has been removed to the film and we are basically treated to a live action Road Runner cartoon. The utter insanity of the situations is hilarious all the way through to the credits. If the first film had this sense of humour, I would have been in far less pain when I watched it.

The final verdict is that madkevin was correct: this is a great Dude movie. You have to turn off your brain to enjoy it properly but if you can manage to do that, Crank 2: High Voltage is some kinda fun.

Mike the Boss - Films of 2010 - Film the Second: Inkheart

Inkheart (2008) (dir: Iain Softley)



Based on the beloved German children's novel by Cornelia Funke (it ranks second in
sales only to Harry Potter in that country), Inkheart is an adaptation that is best viewed before reading the book. Screenwriter David Lindasy-Abaire (writer of boring CGI film, Robots) decides to mix up the story and change the very nature of several of lead villains for no apparent good reason. I mean, I understand the original story is 500 pages long and you only have 90 minutes of film, but why you would change the lead villain Capricorn from an unfeeling person of evil and cruelty to a cowardly rogue I have no idea. However, ignoring the changes, Inkheart the movie still has an element of goodwill about it.

The basic plot outline is that Mo, played by Brendan Fraser, is a "Silvertongue", which means he can read characters and things out of books. He and his daughter, Meggie, played by Eliza Bennett, are being chased by characters from the book Inkheart that Mo accidentally read out years ago. They take refuge at his missing wife's aunt's home, played by Helen Mirren, where all hell breaks loose. Later on, Jim Broadbent pretty much steals the show as the dopey author of Inkheart, Fenoglio.

Director, Iain Softley, does a journeyman's job of hitting the high notes of the book. Almost outshining the story is the setting in the small towns of the Italian Riviera. Gorgeous scenery and beautiful structures made me want to visit the area even more than I already do. All of this combined to let me forgive the failings of the film and enjoy it for what it is. As with most adaptations, there is some feeling of disappointment when they don't follow through on the book but taken by itself, Inkheart is an enjoyable film for the whole family. Do read the book though afterwards, it is great.

Mike The Boss - Films of 2010 - Film the First: Extract

Extract (2009) (dir: Mike Judge)

Oh Mike Judge, please go away. Beavis & Butthead was stupid. Office Space had moments but was not really that good. King of the Hill is nauseatingly puerile. Idiocracy was likely your best film but the best joke is making fun of Crocs and how tough is that to do. And now you have given us Extract, a misogynistic, unfunny, unnoteworthy piece of crap filled with sterotypes that you pretend to like but don't even have the balls to respect. Wake up people, Mike Judge hates your guts and thinks you are stupid. Plus he's forced Ben Affleck on us in his unfunniest role yet. This film is a stillborn abomination and should be avoided at all costs. Yep, that was my first film of the year. Yeehaw!