Wendy's Films of 2010 #93: Iron Man 2 (2010)

"Come see Iron Man 2!" they said.

"It'll be the best thing evar!!!1!" they said.

Well, sadly, they lied. It wasn't the best thing evar. In fact, it wasn't really very good at all and I must say I was quite disappointed in the outcome of one of 2010's most anticipated films.

It had redeeming qualities in Robert Downey Jr. (Tony Stark/Iron Man, for those who's minds remain outside the realm of pop culture.) Downey Jr. always manages to give an entertaining performance, whether his films succeed or not. I even liked Gwyneth Paltrow in this film, which is saying something as she usually annoys me to the point of turning a potentially good movie bad. Scarlett Johansson nearly had the opportunity to do something cool, but they unfortunately tried to do too much with the film. They shoved far too many subplots and unnecessary bits in that it became a jumble of unconcentrated potential. I think that's what annoyed me the most: the fact that the film had potential and threw it out while attempting to gain more of an audience by adding more stars and thus a lot of superfluous storylines and scenes. Or perhaps they were afraid the film wouldn't be able to stand up on its own without the help of these famous faces. My favourite part, however, was when Paltrow and the film's director Jon Favreau sat in danger for their lives inside a car next to a deadly flight between Iron Man and Ivan Vanko. They just sat there, staring! Just another example of Favreau adding in unnecessary film time and an unnecessary character: himself.

The film will be out on DVD on September 28th, so if you'd like to check it out for yourself you shall have this ability in the near future.

Pose Reviews A Movie. #28: Kick-Ass (2010)

I'll bet you thought I was going to start this review with something lame and corny like "Kick-Ass kicks ASS."

You did, didn't you?

Well forget it. I won't do it.

...

But to be fair, Kick-Ass does kick some serious ass.

As you may have gathered from my review of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, I can't resist a film about unlikely or amateur superheroes. (Or, in Dr. Horrible's case, supervillains.)

Thus, it shouldn't come as any sort of surprise that I just watched Kick-Ass for the second time...and loved it.

Again.

Kick-Ass is the story of Dave Lizewski, a geeky teen who, after years of fascination with fictional superheroes, finally decides to don a costume and try his hand at the craft.

As you can imagine, our protagonist encounters some serious drawbacks as the superheroic Kick-Ass, what with the no-super-powers and the no-formal-training and the not-entirely-heroic-physique, but with the help of two highly secretive and experienced superheroes, played by Nicholas Cage and eleven-year old Chloe Moretz, Kick-Ass ultimately manages to...well, kick ass.

I really dig this movie, but if I learned anything from my adoration of 2009's Watchmen, it's that it's tough to give films a glowing recommendation when they also exist in graphic novel form. Essentially, you're almost guaranteed to piss off someone who thinks the movie didn't do justice to the book.

Luckily, with Kick-Ass, the rights to the film were sold before the first issue of the comic book was published. So it isn't so much an adaptation as an alternate interpretation of the Kick-Ass concept--which branched off from the same moment in time as the textual edition.

In other words...score one for Matthew Vaughn! Not only is he married to Wayne's-World-Salute veteran Claudia Schiffer, he also managed to make a superhero flick that effectively avoids fair comparison to the original text. Schwing!

But with that said, even if the cinematic version of Kick-Ass was a straight-up adaptation, I think it would've fared pretty well, even with fans of the comic.

First, the action sequences are awesome--surely they were well-illustrated in comic form, but there's nothing quite like watching eleven-year old Hit Girl flat-out demolish a room full of thugs in real time.

The action sequences are also very creatively presented, with different lighting and camera effects to make each major battle distinct from the others.

Second, it includes a tribute to Kick-Ass' graphic origins with a beautifully effective still-image montage depicting the origin story of Kick-Ass' ally, the superheroic Big Daddy. (Played delightfully by Nicholas Cage, who more than makes up for Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans with an eccentric homage to Adam-West era Batman).

And third, it sports a pretty decent soundtrack--something the graphic novel can't compete with unless you're reading it with headphones on. And even then, you'd have to be constantly pressing "Play" and "Pause" at the appropriate moments, which is way more annoying than watching a movie.

Overall, I think Kick-Ass would please graphic novel enthusiasts just as much as gung-ho moviegoers. For a blockbuster action movie, it has an appropriate amount of plot and humour to offset the violence and badassery, and it's charmingly self-aware as a superhero flick about superheroes.

And let's face it. We all have to do something with our time while we wait for Christopher Nolan's next Batman movie.

Pose Reviews A Movie. #24: Batman Returns (1992)

Well, at least they didn't go with the originally proposed title, Batman, Again.

Alright, I'm just going to go ahead and say it. It's really, really hard to take the old Batman movies seriously now that Christopher Nolan has given the whole franchise a masked facelift, making the Caped Crusader (and his villains) appropriately badass once again.

However, I don't mean to assume that Tim Burton's 1992 follow-up to Batman was necessarily meant to be taken seriously in the first place. Or maybe the early nineties were a simpler era than I remember, having been five years old at the time.

Regardless, Batman Returns is a fine though irresistibly campy piece of film with a solid gothic aesthetic--art direction may be the only thing Tim Burton does well, but you have to admit, he does it really well.

Batman Returns also spawned a trend in villains which would be followed with the arguably more crappy Batman Forever and Batman & Robin whereby an already established baddie is joined by a newer scoundrel who develops their evil counterpart part-way through the movie.

In this case, we have Oswald Cobblepot, The Penguin, whose deformity at the time of birth led his parents to abandon him in the sewers of Gotham City in order to:

a) have him raised by penguins
and b) allow for a lengthy opening title sequence

Catwoman, on the other hand, arrives on the scene when her mortal alter-ego is thrown out of a window and bitten repeatedly by black cats--a process which apparently turns you both feline, evil and crazy if the cats go at it long enough.

These are probably two of the weirdest origin stories in the Batman villain catalogue, but once their plans to take over Gotham City are in place (despite rather flimsy motivations), their villainous agenda turns to the one force that can stop them...

...Michael Keaton?

OK, OK, I know that Michael Keaton used to be Burton's right-hand man, having starred in Beetlejuice and Burton's first Batman, and yes, he's certainly no worse than Val Kilmer in Batman Forever or George Clooney in Batman & Robin and sure, his Batman voice isn't as ridiculous as Christian Bale's but...Michael Keaton?

I didn't buy it. I just feel like he doesn't have Bruce Wayne's cool charm (which is odd, considering his performance in Johnny Dangerously) OR Batman's cunning and machismo. All in all, I just don't think he fits the bill.

Could it be that Tim Burton just gets attached to certain actors, and casts them in places they don't belong just because he wants them in his movies?

Nahhh! Helena Bonham Carter was a GREAT choice for The Red Queen in Alice in Wonderland! (Nervous laughter).

I do want to applaud two of Burton's casting decisions though.

One? Michael Gough as Alfred. I love that guy! He's so old and awkward and scrawny, a kind of Hans Moleman in the flesh. So you almost don't expect him to do anything the entire movie, and then all of a sudden he bails Batman out of a dicey situation and you're like, "Ohh, that Alfred!"

It's just the best feeling.

And two? Christopher. Fucking. Walken.

It's so good to see you, Mr. Walken. And your major role as Max Schrek (and its accompanying hair) makes my heart sing. If only you had been cast as Batman. Now that would be worth Returning for!

For me, Christopher Walken is totally the highlight of this movie. Hands down, 100%. But if you're in the mood for a campy superhero movie, but you don't want to go the Adam West route, take a nostalgia trip and join Penguin, Catwoman, Christopher Walken and the big black bat for a Christmas you'll never forget!

...oh yeah, I forgot to mention. It's also a Christmas movie.

Ryan Watches a Motion Picture #28: Iron Man 2 (2010)

Robert Downey Jr. returns as Tony Stark, roguish playboy billionaire turned superguy (I'll say superguy since he never quite reaches hero status in the films - he just owns up to negligence and cleans up his own messes). He's Iron Man of course, and this was the big summer action sequel many people were waiting for.

And it's really fucking boring. Not since Transformers 2 have I sat in a theatre to watch a blockbuster and suddenly realised that I was completely, utterly bored. That I didn't care about anything that was happening on the screen, and that when there was a glitzy CGI sequence, couldn't anchor it to any kind of sense of emotional import. But I don't want to lead you too astray by bringing up one of the worst movies I've ever seen - Iron Man 2 isn't anywhere near as vapid as Transformers 2 because there's only one dick joke in it, if I remember rightly.

Sadly I can only think of one or two action sequences that are somewhat satisfying, and one is close to the beginning and the other not quite at the end, and short. Everything else is annoying quip. A glib talk back and forth that goes nowhere and isn't funny, instead of, say, illuminating the audience as to what's going with either plot or character. In regards to character, there isn't much present. We get a Tony Stark who's a dick and a fantasy of wealth without redeeming quality that I can find, and a Paltrow/Pepperpot that gets mad sometimes about how careless Stark is. Oh, and Don Cheadle getting mad about that too, to the point where he dons a suit of robo-armour for a really ridiculous fight scene at a party. Apart from that there's a lot of time spent trying to sell you on secondary characters. Scarlett Johansson and Sammy J were somewhat fun to watch, but Mickey Rourke's grizzled Russian antagonist was really the only thing I actually found entertaining. Or justifiable.

At least after the credits we see Thor's hammer in an impact crater unrelated to anything we saw in Iron Man 2.

So: A movie as careless and self-serving as Tony Stark. Save your money.