tm Does the QT 20 Part 19: Speed

She thought Keanu would get an Oscar first.

Speed (dir. Jan de Bont – 1994)

Is it surprising that Keanu Reeves appears in two movies on this list? The guy is universally panned as being unable to act but yet, accordingly to the imdb.com, of his 56 movies, 14 are rated 7/10 or higher. So, is he just lucky or just what does he add to a movie? I don’t have an answer....

Speed has Keanu and Jeff Daniels as Los Angeles cops trying to catch a bad guy, wonderfully played by Dennis Hopper, who tries to crash an elevator full of people in an extortion attempt. The bad guy gets away but gets to fight another day; he resurfaces by threatening to blow up a city bus full of people. Sandra Bullock’s on the bus and becomes entangled in it all when she takes over for the injured bus driver. Attempts are made to defuse the bomb on the bus, all the while trying to track down the bad guy.

It’s not entirely unpredictable – Keanu and Sandra hook up, Keanu drops some wretched one-liners, a few things get blowed up real good, etc. – but it’s tense and it keeps moving. Sandra Bullock is actually somewhat endearing as the caught-in-the-crossfire passenger while everybody else is not asked to do anything unspectacular – Keanu and Jeff are good as cops because they don’t need to emote and yes, Dennis Hopper is just semi-unhinged and thankfully stays that way, not going for the easy psycho-meltdown.

tm sez: 6/10

(Note: that it has taken so long to post tm vs. the Tarantino 20 is not tm's fault but mine. The series will conclude soon, when I get around to writing a rebuttal of his final entry, which I will write after I write my rebuttal to Colin's review of Shutter Island.)

tm Does the QT 20 Part 18: Shaun of the Dead

Shaun of the Dead (dir. Edgar Wright – 2004)

A spoof of zombie movies, you’ve got two slackers in suburban London faced with the unexplained transformation of normal people into flesh-eating zombies. They try to survive and ensure the safety of some family and friends.

It’s funny but also has enough gory blood’n’guts to let you know this is a zombie movie. It’s also apparent by the depth, sleight-of-hand, and rapid-succession of jokes and gags, that this movie has quite a bit of thought and rewrites behind it. Many initially dismissed this movie as a lame spoof, a la Scary Movie(s), but the quality and (mostly) resisting the urge to make the quick joke sets it apart.

tm sez: 7/10

tm Does the QT 20 Part 17: Memories of a Murder

Memories of Murder (aka Salinui chueok; dir. Joon-ho Bong - 2003)

Despite the Hallmark/gotta be a rom-com, title, this is a very good movie.

Taking place in small-town South Korea, there’s a serial killer loose. The local cops are unable to solve it and public pressure is mounting; they are generally more inclined to force/beat confessions out of suspects so early confessions turn out to be deadends. A cop from Seoul arrives to help with the case; he’s not a fan of the rough justice of his new partners and they’re unhappy being saddled with an outsider.

The dichotomies are there – good cop/bad cop, city cop/country cop, solving the case by pounding the pavement or using your head, etc. but the movie never polarizes the characters. The main cops are nuanced and neither one is being set up as a straw man for the audience’s sympathies.

This director also did The Host and shares many actors with that movie. Memories has some genuinely chilling scenes but not sensationalized. It doesn’t answer all the questions that it poses about the characters, motivations, etc. but those that it does, it lets them unfold.

tm sez: 8/10

tm Does the QT 20 Part 16: Lost in Translation

Lost In Translation (dir. Sofia Coppola – 2003)

We start off with Charlotte (Scarlett), who’s in Tokyo with her husband (played by Giovanni Ribisi), a photographer (allegedly based on director Spike Jonze, Sofia’s ex-husband as of 2003). He’s gone most of time, photographing a band, so Charlotte kicks around the hotel and the city, eventually bumping into fellow lonely-soul Bob Harris (Bill Murray), a past-his-prime actor who’s there to shoot a whiskey ad. He’s married but clearly not into it and hitting a life crisis pretty much head-on. So, Charlotte and Bob hang out and kick around – eat some food, sing some karaoke, etc. They form a quick friendship – they go through some up’s and down’s but clearly they’re both enjoying the attention of the other; both are in a questioning state of their lives, though clearly coming at it from different viewpoints.

The movie had the buzz around it when it came – mostly focusing on Sofia (she is a Coppola, after all) and the allegedly glorious return of Bill Murray. Sofia’s next movie was Maria Antoinette which disappointed and since then Bill’s done some crazy things, like drive a golf cart after having some major doobage and storming out of the Oscar ceremony when he didn’t win Best Lead Actor (losing out to Sean Penn for Mystic River – hard to argue with that decision). Sofia did win for Best Original Screenplay but lost on Best Picture and Best Director in the Lord of the Rings /Return of the King cataclysm. The ‘making of’ bonus features on the disc are all about Sofia and Bill, too – Bill doing silly things, Bill learning some wacky words in Japanese, etc. while you Scarlett for about 30 seconds. Strange, as Scarlett probably got the biggest bump out of it, boosting her profile after generating some buzz in Ghost World (2001) and now has gone on to be Woody Allen’s new muse.

A movie where not much happens, it still unfolds gracefully and deliberately, telling what little it tells patiently and well.

tm sez: 7/10

tm Does the QT 20 Part 15: J.S.A. (Joint Security Area)

Joint Security Area (aka Gongdong gyeongbi guyeok JSA; dir. Chan-wook Park – 2000)

Another Korean movie with an ensemble cast, featuring Kang-ho Song (here for the third time - soon to be seen in the QT 20 as the slacker father in The Host and the rural detective in Memories of a Murder).

The movie deals with the fallout from an armed confrontation between North and South Korean soldiers in the demilitarized zone between the two countries, leaving two North Koreans dead, a third wounded as well as one of the South Koreans. A Swiss/Korean woman leads the investigation, interviews the survivors and tries to piece together what really happened. The movie unfolds via flashbacks and there are allegations about the investigator’s impartiality.
The female playing the investigator is a bit one-dimensional but the four actors playing the Korean soldiers are very good and the interaction between them unfolds naturally.

Like Memories of a Murder, this movie is well done and was a pleasant surprise.

tm sez: 7/10

tm Does the QT 20 Part 14: Friday

Friday (dir. F. Gary Gray – 1995)

This is basically Dazed & Confused in Da Hood.

Taking place on a Friday, it concerns itself with Craig Jones (played by Ice Cube), who’s just been fired, apparently unjustly so, from his job; but Friday is his day off so he’s just hanging out with this buddy Smokey (Chris Tucker, in his debut) as they observe the neighbourhood – you’ve got the thug, the drug dealers, the hot woman across the road, the guys are trying to cope with parents, girlfriends, etc. The drama of the movie comes from Smokey owing a drug dealer $200 and if they don’t come up with the cash by the end of the day, there’ll be trouble.
It’s all light and funny but the last 15 minutes turn tense with a drive-by machine gunning and a no-holds barred brawl between Craig and the local bully. A funny, but all very brief cameo, by Bernie Mac makes things semi-interesting.

One question that is answered is that, yes, Chris Tucker has been mind-numbingly annoying since the very beginning; the depth of his character mostly rests on the twenty different ways he needs to say “Damn!” to convey a range of nuanced subtleties ranging between disgust and admiration.

Like Dazed and Confused, maybe repeated viewings leads one to becoming endeared to the neighbourhood characters, but really, this is just a bad movie.

tm sez: 4/10

tm Does the QT 20 Part 13: Dogville

BIG-ASS SPOILERS AHOY!

Dogville (dir. Lars von Trier – 2003)

Dogville, Small Town USA during the Depression, becomes the new home of a woman (Nicole Kidman) on the run after being involved in a bank hold-up in a nearby town. The Dogvillites are suspicious but she makes an ally (Paul Bettany), who wins the town over and they accept her; to show her gratitude, she starts doing little jobs around the town, helping people out. But, eventually, her need for secrecy and that the townsfolk hide her from the police, eventually puts them in a position to leverage the woman’s gratitude into servitude. Her attempts to escape are undermined and Paul Bettany’s character, convinced he’s doing the right thing by being an apologist for her, keeps making things worse. Eventually, her bank-robbing cohorts show up to claim her and it rests on Nicole’s character if there’s a need for pay-back.

This is not an easy movie to watch. Its shot on a bare stage with the walls of the buildings just marked on the stage, giving it a very theatrical atmosphere. Further, the metaphor is that in a small town, everybody knows what the other people are doing - walls are just for appearances sake. The communal silence that grows in the obvious mistreatment of Nicole’s character is chilling, especially as she’s systematically raped by the town’s men; which, on a set without walls, is done in plain view of the townspeople. The movie also is broken into chapters, complete with titles; some may complain of the stop/start flow, but it works like a play, with a brief pause between scenes.

The director, Lars von Trier, is a polarizing person – not only amongst viewers & critics, but also among the actors. The friction on the set of his movies is well known and clearly seen in one of the bonus features of the dvd – Trier sets up a ‘confessional booth’ where anybody can go in and discuss anything on video. However, full credits are given to Trier for effort and vision.

Not for everybody, but a great movie.

tm sez: 8/10

tm Does the QT 20 Part 12: Boogie Nights

Boogie Nights (dir. Paul Thomas Anderson – 1997)

The subject matter of this movie probably turned a lot of people away – a ‘behind the scenes’ look at the California porn industry in the late ‘70’s. Even though there’s a rise and fall and rise arc to the movie, I’m sure some people don’t want to see anything redemptive coming out of people being paid to screw each other so other people can watch. And then you’ve got the flip-side where some people involved in this industry are doing so with the conviction that they’re doing something creative and artistic.

You’ve got Mark Wahlberg playing a kid that gets involved in the porn industry, quickly becoming a star thanks to the length of his member, and then there are all the other people that are involved – actors, producers, directors, etc. etc. But with his sudden ascent, comes the fall – Markie Mark starts getting into the drugs and so has trouble with his ding-dong, most everybody is also doing drugs as well, the business moves to video which is cheaper than the film which director (played by Burt Reynolds) sees as an affront to his artistic pursuit, etc.

This is a good movie with a great ensemble cast, some of whom haven’t done much since or as well as their own. This is one of John C Reilly’s better performances before he fell into the Will Ferrell orbit (somebody save him!), Philip Seymour Hoffman’s first role of note, and should’ve been the closest Wahlberg ever got to an Oscar (nominated for The Departed? Give me a break – whatta crappy movie that was…; it only got nominated for anything because the Academy realized it missed all Scorsese’s good movies…), the always great Don Cheadle, and has a few real live porn actors and actress’ in non-porn acting roles.

I remember a friend being down right irritable the day after the Oscars that this movie didn’t win anything; this was adding insult to his injury that the movie wasn’t up for more than the three nominations it got and won none (Best supporting actress – Julianne Moore, best supporting actor – Burt Reynolds, best original screenplay – Paul Thomas Anderson). And, true enough, it should’ve been up for more nominations and won some.

T&S sez: 8/10

tm Does the QT 20 Part 11: Audition

NOTE: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS MEGA-SPOILERS

Audition (aka Ôdishon; dir. Takashi Miike – 1999)

Reading about this movie in advance of watching it, I was prepared to be grossed out, what with mention of barf bags being handed out at some screenings, people being sick in movie foyers, etc. While this movie is disturbing but c’mon - people, if you’re renting movies from Gen X, you’ve probably seen worse...

Many years after a movie producer’s wife dies, he decides to find a new wife. Unsure of how to proceed, a friend arranges a semi-bogus audition for a movie roll. The widowed producer sits in, evaluating the women as they come in. He finds one woman to his liking and he approaches her after the audition. They go out for a few dates and then, without warning, she disappears. The producer then attempts to track the elusive woman.

The movie is a psychological drama – the producer tries to track down the mysterious woman and the more he finds out about her, the weirder psycho-bitch she turns out to be. But yet the producer pursues, a train stuck on the tracks. The plot moves along in a controlled and measured pace, Ryo Ishibashi as the producer bring some nice dramatic chops to the movie and Eihi Shiina as the female protagonist does a nice job of projecting a quiet/scary/unhinged vibe.

Yes, the last 20 minutes are a little hard to take – the bulk of it being a torture scene involving an immobile captive being subjected to super-long acupuncture needles and a garrotte to an extremity – but the pain-induced flashbacks by the captive does provide some insight into the plot. Not that I’m trying to make excuses for this movie or anything like that...

tm sez: 6/10

tm Does the QT 20 Part 10: Battle Royale

Hi friends! With this review tm is halfway through the Tarantino 20. Recently someone took very angry exception to a review here on the blog, and felt it deserved an angry in-store tirade, so a word or two about opinions...

Like the kids say, they're like assholes; everyone has one. The reviews are strictly the opinions of those who write them, not the store at large, and no one makes any claims to authority. I don't agree with some of them. Take tm's review of Battle Royale, below. I think it's better than he gives it credit for being, but here it is nonetheless. It's tm's opinion, which he is sharing. Ditto for my reviews. Accept them, or don't. If you don't, write why in the comments section if you'd like! There's no reason why you should take this blog more seriously than we do! The end. - CJB

Battle Royale (aka Batoru rowaiaru; dir. Kinji Fukasaku - 2000)

Of the list of 20 movies, this is the movie that Quentin singled out as being his favourite (the rest being tied for 2nd...or 20th, I guess). And in case anybody was wondering where he got the idea of deadly uniformed Japanese school kids from Kill Bill 1, this is probably where he got the idea...
Set in the near future, Japan enacted a law where the class of one school would be forced to engage in a 3-day long battle to the death on a remote island – if one person was alive at the end of it, that person is free to leave; if more than one was alive at the end of the contest, they’d all be killed. (The reasons for the Japanese parliament passing this law are a little wanting - At the dawn of the millennium, the nation collapsed. At fifteen percent unemployment, ten million were out of work. 800,000 students boycotted school. The adults lost confidence, and fearing the youth, eventually passed the Millennium Educational Reform Act... Not exactly compelling reasons for 40 kids to kill each other but whatever...)

And just to make things further interesting, there are two kids thrown in the mix that aren’t part of the class – one quickly establishes himself a psychopath. And everybody’s been fitted with necklaces that can explode. And a former teacher of the class (who left because a student stabbed him in the leg), played by Takeshi Kitano, who’s also in charge of the Japanese soldiers that are monitoring this event; he announces who’s died, what sectors of the island are off-limits, etc.

The movie focuses on two kids – a boyfriend/girlfriend who team up and try to find allies to figure out a way to survive; they find one group of kids who’s trying to hack into the soldier’s monitoring system, one group of girls camps out in a lighthouse (I was hoping for a pillow-fight but instead get a very QT close-quarter gunfight ending in a massacre), etc. Of course, these two are one of the last few left standing, and there are questions about what will happen since only one of them can survive...

This is basically a caged, high-octane version Lord of the Flies – some kids strike out on their own, some team up despite knowing that only one will survive, some have no trouble killing classmates, others are so racked with guilt that they commit suicide. At times the plot gets a little sketchy, the editing gets a little sloppy, and acting a little stiff (but, hey, they are teenagers), but it’s a pretty good action flick.

tm sez: 7/10

tm Does the QT 20 Part 9: Unbreakable

Gen X warns: this review contains spoiler(s)!

Unbreakable. (dir. M. Night Shyamalan – 2000)

So, according to the IMDb, the director (referred to by QT as Shamalamadingdong) likes this movie the most of the ones he’s done. It’s a good movie – not great but better than The Sixth Sense and certainly better than the rest.

Bruce Willis is David Dunn, a security guard who is the unscathed and lone survivor of a train crash. He is pursued by Samuel L Jackson, a comic book connoisseur named Elijah Price who has a disease that makes his bones very prone to breaking. Samuel L is convinced that superheroes have existed through out history – humans that are somehow immune to illness, possess extreme strength, etc. – and he believes that Bruce, by surviving the train wreck, is a superhero.

The acting is restrained and controlled in a good way while the direction is very evenly paced, with numerous long-held single take shots. The comic book symmetry between Bruce (good guy) and Samuel L (bad guy) got a little boring but still reasonable engaging. The two of them pretty much take up the entire movie but there’s Robin Wright Penn as Bruce’s estranged/on again-off again wife and Spencer Treat Clark (also known for playing Lucius in Gladiator) and as their son - they both do a fine job in their supporting roles.

Not many extras on the dvd – deleted scenes and a few mini-documentaries – but they’re nice.
tm sez: 7/10

tm Does the QT 20 Part 8: Team America - World Police

Team America: World Police (dir. Trey Parker – 2004)

Sometimes having low standards leads to surprises. This movie seemed like a throw-in – maybe the South Park creators Matt Parker and Trey Stone have some dirt on QT? And while South Park certainly has more creative and original moments than you’d think from a show that seems to cost about $2.84 to put together, thinking that a movie starring American-flag waving puppets would only be just tolerable was on my mind.

But, yeah, this movie is actually pretty funny. Funny in a satirical “America kicks ass/everybody with dark skin is a terrorist” kinda way. Parker and Stone first wanted to re-shoot Jerry Bruckheimer’s “Armageddon” scene-by-scene but with puppets; due to legal reasons, they couldn’t do that and so they did a puppet-acted Bruckheimer musical - over the top action, semi-coherent plot, two-dimensional characters, but lots of stuff gets blown up real good and you’ve got them breaking into song. As with any Bruckheimer movie, the plot is minimal – Team America tries to save the world from Kim Jong-il, who has armed terrorists around the world with weapons of mass destruction. The team loses a member, recruits a civilian, has a talking computer and a super groovy hang out, confidence is lost and earned, etc. Along the way, Hollywood is spoofed as full of pinkos who get duped by Kim faking he’s all about world peace.

The music is almost all written and sung by Trey Parker and it’s surprisingly good; Kim Jong-Il’s solo tune “I’m Ronery” song has got to be one the funniest musical moments ever.

Gen X has the ‘unrated and uncut’ dvd; not seeing it in the theatre, I don’t know what scenes are added but it’s probably mostly in the big, gratuitous, and overly long sex scene (between puppets, complete with “showers”. Yuck.). There is just the right amount of extras of behind the scenes footage, explaining the puppet process, etc.

But, yeah, it’s still a puppet movie so tm sez: 6/10

tm Does the QT 20 Part 7: Police Story 3 (Supercop)

Police Story 3 (aka Super Cop, aka Ging chat goo si 3: Chiu kup ging chat; dir. Stanley Tong – 1992)

Watching a Jackie Chan movie for the plot or character development or hoping for hubris of unparalleled gravitas is like reading Playboy for the articles.

This movie finds Jackie as a Hong Kong cop going undercover in China (why him? He’s apparently a Super Cop!) to help catch a criminal who can hopefully lead them to an international drug lord. The reluctant partner is a Chinese cop, played by the always great Michelle Yeoh (here credited as Michelle Khan). Both of them kick butt and body left, right, and centre using their fists, guns, or whatever common household items can be grabbed in haste.

Jackie had already churned out an untold number of Hong Kong action flicks before being found by North American audiences (let’s not count his bits in Cannonball Run I and II, okay?), mostly with the Rush Hour movies. Flooding the market with the older movies made it easy to quickly satisfy this hunger. Because of this, you’ve got good movie rubbing shoulder with the bad; while this is probably one of Jackie’s better movies, I’ll take Operation Condor instead.

The dvd has no bonus features. But there are the classic Chan “stunts gone wrong” outtakes over the closing credits, so who needs the ‘making of’ documentary?
tm sez: 6/10

tm Does the QT 20 Part 6: The Matrix

The Matrix (dir. Andy & Larry Wachowski – 1999)

Yeah, this movie did really change things.

And, yes, as QT says, the two sequels just about ruined the whole thing. Those two big steamy piles of turd are very utterly unwatchable (though millions did) and a sign that the Wachowski’s opted to let the money be an excuse for creativity (a la George Lucas and new Star Wars episodes). Animatrix is hands-down better than the two sequels.

The Matrix is the answer to the hypothetical question of what if what we think is real, isn’t. According to the Wachowski’s, the human race is subservient to robots who feed us the illusion of reality while harnessing our body’s energy to further the illusion. The special effects are extremely well done and is the movie that put ‘bullet time’ on the map (even though it was first debuted in that super-crappy movie Blade; see review above).

Acting-wise, the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. C’mon – think of who’s in the movie and ask yourself what else they’ve done of note. They’re all fine actors but unremarkable. Surprisingly, Keanu Reeves does appear twice on the QT 20…

The dvd has plenty of features, including some inane commentaries but some nice ‘making of’ pieces, especially as the whole ‘bullet time’ thing was very new.

tm sez: 8/10

tm Does the QT 20 Part 5: The Insider

1999, Directed by Michael Mann.

Mid-way through this movie, my wife says “Hey, this movie reminds me of that realllly slllooow movie Al Pacino did with Robert de Niro.”. Truer words have never been spoken. That movie was Heat, also directed by Mann.

This movie concerns a big tobacco company executive (Russell Crowe) that blows the whistle on the tobacco industry lie that nicotine is not addictive and then focuses on how the news show 60 Minutes (the producer is played by Al Pacino, Mike Wallace played by Christopher Plummer) gets involved – threats of lawsuits jeopardize journalist integrity, the ordeal that Crowe’s character goes through to get out the truth and how it affects him, his family, etc.

I like it – you’ve got great acting from Crowe as the tightly-wound and jumpy mid-management corporate guy trying to do the right thing even though he knows it’ll screw him over. And it’s a relief to know that Pacino can still act without all the yelling that he’s been doing lately. The movie is suspenseful despite basically being a court case. There’s a bit of cloak’n’dagger and the merest hint of violence but the movie moves slowly and deliberately, single-minded in telling the story and telling the story about the people that told the story.

The dvd extras are manky – a production feature-ette and a breakdown of one scene. Not that I’d sit through a commentary of a 2½ hour movie, but this movie clearly demonstrates patience and planning that would be nice to see and hear.

tm sez: 8/10

tm Does the QT 20 Part 4: Fight Club

Starring Brad Pitt, Edward Norton, and Helena Bonham Carter – this is a good movie and worthy of repeated viewings. There’s the big Plot Twist, which is pulled off semi-believably, but there are several layers to the whole movie and it’s clear that a lot of thought went into it, most of which undoubtedly came from the original novel, written by cult-fave author Chuck Palahniuk

Norton plays a corporate drone and meets Pitt, a free spirited soap maker, on an airplane. They hang out after the flight and Norton becomes envious of Pitt’s anti-establishment character. By accident, they form Fight Club – a brawl between two willing combatants that becomes an emotional and physical outlet for the participants - basically, pugilistic therapy. Its success escalates and more people become involved, this in turn sees the Club turn to pubic pranks intent on self-improvement for the members and showing the public its shallowness and greed; this then escalates into bigger and bigger stunts, Club members become organized and militarized, and it culminates with the Mother Of All Stunts.

Bonham Carter is the woman between the two men and she’s does a great job of playing the flaky waif, though she does kinda disappear for a while. And worthy of mention is Meatloaf (yes, the singer), who wears a fat suit with huge boobs complete with nipples.

Not wanting to be overdramatic, but the home-grown terrorism aspect makes it strangely a little hard to watch post 9-11.

This is a 2-dvd set – there are four commentaries with the disc and a lot of production scenes. Good stuff. Too bad the Fincher/Pitt/North/Carter commentary is not all of them together – sounds like only Fincher and Norton were recorded jointly.

tm sez: 8/10

tm Does the QT 20 Part 3: Dazed and Confused

Dazed & Confused (dir. Richard Linklater – 1993)

Remember the joke about Seinfeld as the show about nothing? Well, this is the movie version.

This movie is takes place on the last day of a Texas high-school in 1976. School gets out, the older/graduating kids party, drink, smoke, get stoned, make-out, ponder what to do next while the kids going into high school worry about getting paddled as an initiation, some get to party with the older kids and so they get to drink, smoke, get stoned, make-out and ponder what to do next. Day breaks and most kids go home while a few drive to Houston to buy tickets for an upcoming Aerosmith concert.

I can see the appeal to this movie growing with repeated views; as QT said, they’re like old friends. And that there’s not much going on in the way of plot isn’t an automatic stumbling block, but with this movie, things drag. Further, this movie might be faulted for launching the careers of Matthew McConaughey and Ben Affleck but thankfully this movie preceded Linklater’s infatuation with Ethan Hawke…

The dvd has a few deleted scenes and a commercial for Vans shoes – not worth it.

tm sez: 5/10

tm Does the QT 20 Part 2: Blade

Blade (dir. Stephen Norrington – 1998)

This movie is crap – fist-size plot holes, cheesy effects, a heamotologist that turns into butt-kicking Vampire killer at the drop of a hat, Wesley Snipes trying to drop one-line Arnold-isms that crash & burn, a top-secret Vampire mafia that owns everything and runs the cops and has a “League of Evil” board room and has tattoos and neon signs but yet Blade has trouble finding them, etc. etc. etc.

It’s about a vampire (Wesley Snipes, chiselled and surly) and his buddy (Kris Kristofferson, shaggy and gruff – what a stretch) and they kill vampires; but Wesley not really really a vampire – ya see, his mom got bit by a vampire just before she gave birth to him, so he’s just got some vampire blood which makes him just a semi-pire. And there’s a rebel Vampire (Stephen Dorff, pasty and lame) in the ranks of the Vampire World Order who thinks the current regime is cowardly and he wants to be in charge and has found the way to unleash the real Vampire God, after all the other vampires have been trying for thousands of years. How does he do it, you ask? He uses a computer! Oh yeah, despite the Vampire World Order owning everything, it takes Mr. Rebel to figure that they can put on sunblock and then can go outside. And then there’s the hottie haemotolgist that accepts this all in 5 minutes after almost being killed by a vampire but is rescued by Wes & Kris and then wants to the help them and she uses her powerful medical knowledge about blood to help Wes become a better killing machine.

This movie would only appeal to immature and/or prepubescent males.

The DVD has bonus features but I couldn’t bear to watch them.

tm sez: 2/10

tm Does the QT 20 Part 1: Anything Else

A few months ago Quentin Tarantino celebrated himself by issuing his list of his 20 favourite films since 1992, when he became a film director. Witness!



tm harms, one of our loyal customers, was intrigued by the list, and how few of them he'd seen. He set out to review them, one by one. We shall be serially publishing the results.

Anything Else (dir. Woody Allen – 2003)

This movie joins the long list of Woody Allen movies that are rambling and semi-pointless. This doesn’t make it a bad Woody Allen movie - this movie is of middling quality and will probably be largely forgotten in light of his recent Scarlett Johansson-driven upswing with Match Point, Vicki Christina Barcelona, and Scoop - but you need to be prepared for a few things.

One is that Jason Biggs talks directly at the camera, adding insights and observations to the scene. Second is that it’s hard not be semi-creeped out by Christina Ricci pointlessly spending most of the movie in her underwear and/or without a bra; this is solely disturbing because she’s doing so at the direction of a 72 year-old man (a return of the same icky feeling from Mighty Aphrodite when a 60 year-old Woody makes out with Mira Sorvino). Third, and this is nothing new, that every character is basically a mini-Woody Allen, complete with obsessive/compulsive rants about the ennui-filled minutia of everyday life that was semi-funny 30 years ago, but getting is now tired.

Jason Biggs plays a burgeoning comedy writer and truthfully, he does pulls off a convincing mini-Woody. Christina Ricci plays Jason’s girlfriend who has relationship issues; she’s not a good mini-Woody and isn’t acting terribly well here; there are numerous long, dialogue-driven, single-shot scenes in this movie that give every appearance of being semi-improvised and Christina looks stiff and contrived while Jason seems a bit more at ease. Woody Allen plays a fellow comedy writer to Jason, who Jason admires and they pal around, trying to get a big break. Honourable mention goes to Stockard Channing, playing Christina’s mother that moves in with Jason and Christina.

The dvd’s only special features are text-driven bios of cast & crew and a spiel about the movie – all of which are pretty lame.


tm sez: 5/10